Tear drop seeds.

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5-6

Hard to believe that summer is practically over. I knew that, for myself, once summer started and all the things that comes with it (camp, work, family, vacations, etc.) it would be over in the blink of an eye. And here we are, the farmers have been harvesting their fields for the last month and now when I look out over the prairies that I love so much, I see many of golden hay bales and tall stocks of corn that have yet to be harvested and turned into corn mazes. Most assuredly, fall has creeped up on us all.

This particular September(just a few days from now, in fact), I have the great honor and privilege of watching one of my greatest and dearest friends make the trip down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams. As one of the people who has watched this relationship evolve and develop at every step of the journey over the past year and a half, I am probably also one of the most excited people to see this marriage take place. Given all the times that I and this friend of mine have dreamed about this day, it's hard to believe that it is finally a reality!

But as with every relationship, theirs has had it's share of struggles and tears. Without getting into details and sharing a story that's not mine to share, I feel it's safe to say that the verse above very well describes my friend's situation during her time of uncertainty in her relationship. All the tears have turned into shouts of joy! (And knowing this particular guy that she is getting married to, there will more than likely be a few noisy, joyful outbursts!)

But what redeems painful, uncomfortable situations into one that turn into a season of joy? 

I have found that my tears are often selfish ones. Sometimes when I cry, it's out of a spirit that is questioning God's authority, sovereignty or divine wisdom. A mentor once asked the question of me, "When you face disappointment, are you comforting yourself on God's shoulder, or the devils?" While this may be an extreme comparison, I know it's been true for myself that my tears have been spiritual tantrums rather than a hurting child who goes to her father to cry in His arms. So, what's the difference?

The verses above specify a person who, though weeping, goes out with seeds for sowing. This hints to me that, even in our darkest and most painful moments, we can use the pain we are in productively, or uselessly, depending on our reaction to our circumstances.

If we use the example of my friend, her time of "going out weeping" was filled with waiting on and seeking after God. She did not give up on him, but instead, I believe that during that time, I saw her faith grow exponentially, as she relied on promises and strength found in Scripture. Even if her situation would have had an entirely different outcome and there was not a wedding happening this weekend, I know that she would be stronger, more godly and closer to Jesus than ever before because of how she used her testing time.

Her tears became "seeds" as she surrendered her pain to Jesus. And now the seeds she sowed during that time are turning to sheaves that she can carry back home with great joy!

However, our tears cannot become useful seeds unless we are giving our pain to Jesus, unless we are looking for every opportunity to allow Him to meet with us and speak to us and show us how to make the most of uncomfortable times. If He is not allowed to direct our pain and hurt and disappointment, the tears we cry will fall on dry, infertile ground and fail to produce a crop of joy.

Life is hard. I, for one, have more questions (most of the time) than answers. But I do know that Jesus has all the answers and He alone can turn my tears of pain into seeds that will grow into something that will bring glory to Him.