Psalm 84:3 "Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O Lord of hosts, my King and my God."
There is something unnerving about a lack of control.
People like to toss around the term "control-freak." The definition I just discovered on the web says a control freak is "A person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control and to take command of any situation." We all know a few of these people in our lives. Perhaps it is a boss, or parent, or teacher, maybe even a friend. Maybe it's even yourself.
But really. Who doesn't want control over their own circumstances and life?
I take my own life into my hands everyday. I decide how my day will be spent, and who I will spend it with. I decide what I will wear, what I will eat, and even sometimes, who I will feed. I decide who I want to be friends with on Facebook, what music I want to listen to and where I will drive. I decide which emails I will reply to, which events I want to attend and whether I feel like playing with my dog or not.
And then there are those things you can't control--things that would maybe be nice to have some control over...like who your family is-- or how they live their lives. I can't control the weather. I can't control how that other person views or feels about me. I can't control whether the college I would like to go to is closed for applications or not. I can't even control the fact that Christmas is very quickly approaching (though I should probably take some control over my Christmas shopping...:P). It's things like these, that prove myself, somewhere deep down, on a scale that might be very small but still there, nonetheless, a control freak.
Maybe, the true definition of "control freak" is someone who is uncomfortable with surrender; a person who has a hard time trusting.
The biggest reoccurring theme in my walk with Christ is, hands down, "surrender." It's the first thing I had to face when I truly gave my life to Christ at 13. It's the thing I have had to deal with in every major decision in my life to this point. It is the thing that God is constantly prodding me to do. And while the process of surrender gets easier, it gets infinitely harder as God asks me to surrender bigger and bigger areas of my life-- areas that are intimately near and dear to my very human heart. Surrender is kind of terrifying, to be honest--what will God do with it when I give it to him???
And yet, the Psalmist writes in Psalm 27:6, "...I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy." Wow. That's not the picture of my surrender--more like "sacrifices with weeping and gnashing of teeth."
What is it that could make someone live a life of surrender where they can be truly joyful to give to God the things that matter most? I think part of the answer is in Psalm 84:3-- there is safety in sacrifice.
The gospels speak of Jesus' care for the sparrows. Here in the Psalms, it says that the sparrows can find a safe place amidst the blood, gore and pain of sacrifice. The altar in the temple was not a particularly clean or "nice" place. It was bloody. It was messy. Something the way it feels when we give something close to our hearts over to God. And yet, if a little, insignificant bird can raise her young in safety on the altar, I'll bet that God will take good care of things I give over to him when I leave them on the same altar. Perhaps the shouts of joy in sacrifice spring from a heart that trusts and knows that God actually takes the best care of the things I give to Him.
When I truly believe that sacrifice, as terrifying as it may "look" to leave my "stuff" on that bloody, scary-looking altar, is safe, suddenly the act of giving my entire life and all the intimate details over to God will become alot more joyful.
And who doesn't want joy?
Friday, 18 November 2011
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
My own handmade idol.
Psalms 135:15-18 "The idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths but do not speak; they have eyes, but do not see; they have ears but do not hear, nor is there any breath in their mouths. Those who make them will become like them, so do all who trust in them."
(First off, I just need to acknowledge the fact that it's been a really long time since I have written. Some of the reasons for this are good and others, not so much -- procrastination and laziness, anyone?)
I have always been a pretty "crafty" person. No, I don't devise devious plans and scheme on how to thwart and sabotage those around me. I mean crafty in the most childish sense of the word. Glue, construction paper, cardboard boxes, crayons and paint, sewing needles and thread. Being homeschooled through most of elementary and junior high, I had plenty of time on my hands to perfect my craftiness. I made houses for my Barbies, clothing for same said Barbies, I drew pictures and colored, I even remember once attempting to make a pair of sandals from cardboard tape and other things -- if there was ever need that my parents would not buy for me (a need in my childhood mind, at least) I would set to work to make my own! I am pretty sure that I thought I could make just about anything...I remember getting very creative on some of these occasions.
I have begun to wonder, now, if this is a mindset that has stuck with me: If you want something, take it. If you want something to happen, make it happen. Basically, since childhood, our culture has taught us to manipulate our circumstances in order to cater to ourselves. Anything is possible if you just believe. Ugh. Puke in my mouth. If that was true, my life would look a whole lot different than it does right now. I think I would be a lot more comfortable, a lot richer, and a lot closer to some of the the life goals that I have.
More like, "Anything is possible if you just [make] believe." The problem with this statement is, we forget that God is the Sovereign One who controls EVERYTHING.
When I was reading in Psalms this morning, and I came across the verse above, the phrase "the work of human hands" stood out to me. I began to think of my life and all the situations I have taken into my own hands at one point or another -- work, finances, relationships, family, etc., etc. I could probably make a really long list of the times I have manipulated circumstances, spent hours planning and daydreaming, or spent money unnecessarily to get myself closer to some goal -- good or bad. (Perhaps I am alot more "crafty" in the scheming sense of the word that I thought.)
Suddenly, it occurred to me: The moment I take something -- whether it be a circumstance, desire or relationship -- into my own hands, it becomes an idol. Idols, in the literal sense, were handmade gods, fashioned by people who believed that there was power in man made figurines and statues. What, really, is the difference between that and something I have chosen to take out of God's hands and make for myself? When I begin to idolize something, it means I have placed it's importance above the most important thing of all-- which is God and his glory. I may think, "Surely, God is the most important thing in my life and I have placed nothing above him." But, even if I have begun to worry I have started the process of "idolization." If I am worrying, I have chosen to believe that God is not "God-enough" to care for things-- in which case, the next logical thing would be to do things for myself.
I have made a number of idols in my lifetime. There are idols I am struggling with at this very moment. The problem with idols is that they appear to be so real. They have eyes, ears and mouths. They look inviting and warm. But the truth is, they are counterfeits! In our humanness, we create and manipulate and scheme only to make fools out of ourselves. Sometimes, I believe, God allows us to make these idols. We look at the results and praise ourselves for a job well-done -- sometimes we even praise God for the idols we ourselves have made, fooling ourselves that things must be from God because they appear to be good. Until things fall apart because they were a product of our own fallibleness and humanity. For once we have come to rely on the things our own hands, and not God's, have made, we become the useless ones because we have stifled God's power by taking it into our own hands. "Those who make them will become like them."
(First off, I just need to acknowledge the fact that it's been a really long time since I have written. Some of the reasons for this are good and others, not so much -- procrastination and laziness, anyone?)
I have always been a pretty "crafty" person. No, I don't devise devious plans and scheme on how to thwart and sabotage those around me. I mean crafty in the most childish sense of the word. Glue, construction paper, cardboard boxes, crayons and paint, sewing needles and thread. Being homeschooled through most of elementary and junior high, I had plenty of time on my hands to perfect my craftiness. I made houses for my Barbies, clothing for same said Barbies, I drew pictures and colored, I even remember once attempting to make a pair of sandals from cardboard tape and other things -- if there was ever need that my parents would not buy for me (a need in my childhood mind, at least) I would set to work to make my own! I am pretty sure that I thought I could make just about anything...I remember getting very creative on some of these occasions.
I have begun to wonder, now, if this is a mindset that has stuck with me: If you want something, take it. If you want something to happen, make it happen. Basically, since childhood, our culture has taught us to manipulate our circumstances in order to cater to ourselves. Anything is possible if you just believe. Ugh. Puke in my mouth. If that was true, my life would look a whole lot different than it does right now. I think I would be a lot more comfortable, a lot richer, and a lot closer to some of the the life goals that I have.
More like, "Anything is possible if you just [make] believe." The problem with this statement is, we forget that God is the Sovereign One who controls EVERYTHING.
When I was reading in Psalms this morning, and I came across the verse above, the phrase "the work of human hands" stood out to me. I began to think of my life and all the situations I have taken into my own hands at one point or another -- work, finances, relationships, family, etc., etc. I could probably make a really long list of the times I have manipulated circumstances, spent hours planning and daydreaming, or spent money unnecessarily to get myself closer to some goal -- good or bad. (Perhaps I am alot more "crafty" in the scheming sense of the word that I thought.)
Suddenly, it occurred to me: The moment I take something -- whether it be a circumstance, desire or relationship -- into my own hands, it becomes an idol. Idols, in the literal sense, were handmade gods, fashioned by people who believed that there was power in man made figurines and statues. What, really, is the difference between that and something I have chosen to take out of God's hands and make for myself? When I begin to idolize something, it means I have placed it's importance above the most important thing of all-- which is God and his glory. I may think, "Surely, God is the most important thing in my life and I have placed nothing above him." But, even if I have begun to worry I have started the process of "idolization." If I am worrying, I have chosen to believe that God is not "God-enough" to care for things-- in which case, the next logical thing would be to do things for myself.
I have made a number of idols in my lifetime. There are idols I am struggling with at this very moment. The problem with idols is that they appear to be so real. They have eyes, ears and mouths. They look inviting and warm. But the truth is, they are counterfeits! In our humanness, we create and manipulate and scheme only to make fools out of ourselves. Sometimes, I believe, God allows us to make these idols. We look at the results and praise ourselves for a job well-done -- sometimes we even praise God for the idols we ourselves have made, fooling ourselves that things must be from God because they appear to be good. Until things fall apart because they were a product of our own fallibleness and humanity. For once we have come to rely on the things our own hands, and not God's, have made, we become the useless ones because we have stifled God's power by taking it into our own hands. "Those who make them will become like them."
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